Your whole world changes because you met someone special and you already have that feeling that you want to build a life with this person tapos biglang aalis siya, your world is not the same anymore, everything is out of place, at nawawalan ng value lahat ng natira sa iyo.
You have to really be creative to keep the fire going.
Imagine that your entire relationship relies on technology. Kung wala kang signal o load, or you have poor internet connection, parang nasisira yung buong relasyon ninyo. Hindi mo siya matawagan o nag-away kayo tapos hindi mo siya ma-contact, sobrang napaka-stressful. And just the stress of communication and technology, it’s enough to pile up at magkaroon ng tampuhan just because you can’t get in touch with each other.
It’s not just how you communicate or how frequently, but WHAT you communicate. Establish first what are the terms of your relationship? Are you even exclusive? Maybe you agreed to an LDR and didn’t establish exclusivity and then you’re shocked that the other person is dating while you’re apart. How about sex? Are you allowed to have sex with other people while you’re apart?
What’s your plan? Hindi puedeng bahala na. Ang hirap ng walang usapan e. Ano ba, we’ll see how it goes for 3 months? Or this is my plan, I’ll get a job and you can try to come in 6 months. It’s hard to play it by ear because there’s no assurance about what is going to happen para alam mo naman kung ano yung papasukin mo and there’s no false expectations on either end.
What’s the communication schedule? Hindi puedeng kung kailan lang free dun lang mag-uusap. Kailangan may set na time, after work, 7 to 8 or whatever, and then you treat those scheduled conversations as sacred. Hindi puedeng tinatamad ka or idi-disregard mo yung schedule because that’s the only thing you have and kung babalewalain mo yun, magiging cause talaga yun ng tampuhan.
Define your next meeting date. It can’t be dependent on how you feel or you’ll see how it goes. It’s healthy to have a set time and target, which can be flexible when the time comes, but it gives both partners something to look forward to.
Talk about everything. Expectations, how to communicate, what to communicate. There should always be an end goal. It can’t be an LDR for life, unless that’s what you both want and it’s clear to both parties.
Everything revolves around communication. Life and death talaga yung feeling ng biglang nawala yung kausap mo kasi kung kunyare may nangyari nga, mapupuntahan mo ba siya? May magagawa ka ba? Hindi naman right there and then andyan ka.
Usually fights are caused by failure to be present when you have a scheduled time. Not just physically present but also mentally present.
So much depends on communication and even if you’re not in the mood to talk, you have to realize that on the other end the other person will feel invalidated or unimportant. To you it may just be that you’re sleepy, but on the other end of the line that person may have a lot of expectations for your conversation. Akala niya tinatamad ka to speak with her and not that you’re just exhausted.
When you’re together, your reality is the same. You’re moving in the same world. Even if you are apart during the day, the weather is the same, your reality is the same, your meals are the same. But when you’re apart, literally you’re worlds apart. Magkaiba kayo ng mundo. The stresses of one partner’s day is different from the other’s.
Ang hirap maiwan but also try to empathize with the other person and their pressures, homesickness, work, financial matters, or may naghihintay ng padala na kamaganak, tapos dadagdagan mo pa as jowa.
If you’re in an LDR, you have to establish the fighting rules. It’s inevitable na mag-aaway kayo, and since magkalayo kayo, before you have your first fight, pag-usapan niyo na yung rules ninyo. Like for example, bawal magbagsakan ng phone, or bawal mag-walk out. Sudden moves like hanging up or disconnecting then ghosting. It’s so hard for the other person who’s so far away. Establish from the beginning that if you don’t want to talk anymore because you’re fighting, just say, “I don’t want to talk right now. I will be back. Don’t worry.”
Don’t release your relationship drama on social media. Huwag niyong ilabas ang away niyo. Andaming nadadamay na tao. And you can’t recover from it because ang couples parating nag-aaway pero nagbabati ulit, pero pag dinamay mo yung buong sambayanan, hindi kayo magre-recover after that because andami nang mag-i-input about what you said in the past. Please do not discuss your fight on social media. No dirty laundry. It’s not a good look.
Sex is the number one reason for divorce. The lack of sexual intimacy is a huge factor in long distance relationships. Everybody has their sexual needs. Huwag nating sabihing kung mahal ninyo ang isa’t isa hindi niyo na kailangan ng sex. Ano ka, robot?
You have to be creative because lahat tayo may needs. You have to be open-minded and less inhibited. Kung meron kang inhibitions pag face-to-face, kailangan alisin mo yan pag LDR because you really have to satisfy those needs kahit magkalayo kayo kasi pag nako-corny-han ka sa ginagawa ninyo, but that’s all you have so you have to make it exciting, or else what is the