As long as you’re a woman (no matter how you express your femininity and even if you dress a little masculine) and you love another woman, “lesbian” na ang tawag dun. When I claimed the word “lesbian,”everything fell into place. Wala nang nag-iimpose sakin na dapat ganito ang itsura ko o itsura ng mamahalin ko. Nawalan na rin yung limitation hindi mo na kini-question na “Bakit ganon yung dini-date niya, pareho silang boyish, o pareho silang feminine. Kasi you’re breaking free from the heterosexual roles, heteronormativity of a same-sex relationship. (20:30)

 

Hindi ko siya ma-deny. To me (meeting my first female love) felt so beautiful. I never thought na itago siya. Ang lakas-lakas ng nararamdaman ko. There was no way I was going to lie about this or hide the truth about myself. I’m going to be proud. Because that’s what this feeling and this love deserves. There was no turning back for me. (26:20)

 

It’s important to be true to yourself and to accept yourself. It’s very hard to convince anyone that you’re okay, that you’re happy being gay or bisexual or trans, kung hindi mo tanggap yung sarili mo, kung ashamed ka, feeling mo something is wrong with you. It’s hard for people to be happy for you. So the first step really is to come out to yourself. To realize, ano ba itong nararamdaman mo, do you accept it? What do you have to do? What’s your process para ma-accept mo yung sarili mo? (29:50)

 

The first time you came out, when you said those words out loud, it gives you the freedom, right? It removes the fear of being outed. Kasi wala na akong tinatago so ano pang sasabihin mo sa akin? Sinabi ko na sa iyo e. That moment na sinabi mo na lesbiyana ako, o bakla ako, o bisexual ako, sobrang ma-e-empower ka na kasi hindi na nila magamit yang term na yan sa iyo. Kasi ni-reclaim mo na yung salitang yan at identity na yan so hindi na nila magagamit yan against you. (30:30)

 

If you’re really serious about being an ally, it doesn’t stop by just saying, “I’m an ally and I support you.” Andaling sabihin non, diba….you need to understand the struggle that we go through. You can be an ally, but when was the last time that you really sat down with a gay person and asked them how they feel, what their fears are? Why don’t you ask that person if they’re afraid? Nakaranas ka ba ng violence? You really need to understand and really live life in the shoes of the oppressed minority na gusto mong i-support, because otherwise hindi mo mararamdaman yung nangyayari sa kanila. Iba kasi yung experience ng someone is fighting for you versus someone is fighting alongside you. (52:04)

 

If you don’t live life in other people’s shoes, hindi mo nararanasan yung na-e-experience nila or hindi mo sila kinakausap to find out what pains them, what scares them, what makes them sad, it’s so easy for you to say, “Ok naman kayo e. Accepted naman kayo e.” Kasi hindi mo nakikita yung paghihirap nila e. Why would you fight for somebody kung hindi mo alam na naghihirap sila? Why would you want them to have more rights if you don’t know na wala pala silang rights? (53:25)

 

If you’re gonna be an ally, you have to be willing to be uncomfortable. You have to realize that you will feel guilty. And you will have to admit that you have done people wrong. (54:40)

 

If you don’t admit that you are at fault, you are not going to learn how to correct yourself and how to treat people better. (54:58)

 

If you’re privileged and you’re straight, hindi mo na-re-realize kung ano bang nawawala sa lgbtq community kung hindi ma-legalize yung union nila with their partner? If you don’t sit down and ask (same-sex couples) what the benefits are of having these (marriage) protections under law, you’re not going to fight for it. (54:02)

 

If you have a child who is questioning his sexuality, na baka bading pala siya o tibam pala siya, tapos sinasabi mo na tanggap kita at mahal pa rin kita, pero itong anak mo hindi naman nakakita na may friends ka na gay, wala ring dumadalaw as bahay ninyo, or puro homophobic yung sinasabi mo, puro masama yung sinasabi mo tungkol so gay community, so bakit maniniwala sa iyo yung anak mo? Even if you say, tanggap kita, I will still love you, magtatago pa rin siya. We have to remind parents na if you really feel na OK lang sa iyo na maging ganon sila, show it. Teach your child that a marriage between same-gender partners is the same as your marriage to your husband or to your wife. Or have gay friends. Have them come over para makita nila how you treat gay people. Because otherwise it’s all just talk. At hindi maniniwala yung anak ninyo, and they will always be afraid and still be closeted and that’s going to lead to bad behavior. (55:08)